Letting Go ... and Starting Anew
This unstructured "course" is an eight-week long series of recorded audio and video talks, guided practices and articles I've composed over the past 20 years that I've edited and updated during the COVID-19 pandemic, and will be posting on LinkedIn between December 8th, 2020 and January 28, 2021 to offer support for ending what has been a challenging year for most of us in a conscious manner, and starting a new one by purposefully creating a sustainable habit of integrity to assist you in living and leading by an Ethically Intelligent example of honor, dignity and humanity, in every situation and interaction,
regardless of who you're with or where you are.
Additionally, each post will be sent to all members of my e-list along with some bonus materials.
The four weeks in December will surround the theme of mindfully Letting Go, and in January continues with bringing a
growth and deliberately developmental mindset toward Starting Anew.
It also serves as the introduction to my new multi-media project that will follow beginning in February 2021:
The Integrity Habit™: Embodying TrustWorthiness in Your Personal and Professional Life
Endings and Beginnings are equally important in all areas of our lives, and keeping this awareness front of mind is especially important when we are wishing to eliminate our old, unproductive, and even harmful (to self and others) behavioral habits, and the associated thoughts, choices and actions that keep us stuck in a worn-out, disempowering status quo. This is true regardless of whether we wish to want to live a healthier lifestyle, save more than we spend each month ... or become a person of transparent integrity and trustworthiness - no matter who we are or where we are in any given situation or interaction, in any given moment - and there are no unimportant situations, interactions or moments - if that is indeed your aspiration.
It's also essential to hold that balance when we are ending a relationship, a job, a project, or a business, and to be able to move forward and begin a new relationship, a job, a project, or a business in a conscious and evolved manner.
However, sustainable positive behavioral change cannot be attained by sheer will - and everyone knows that New Year's resolutions don't work. Our best intentions are often simply not good enough, and many of our old habits and patterns have been ingrained for years. Due to a fear of change and loss, many cling to what is known, even when they acknowledge they are engaging in self-sabotaging lifestyle activities, or staying in a draining or abusive relationship or friendship, or going to a job they've grown to hate yet won't leave even though they are miserable. There's also a fear of failure, accompanied by getting snared by Mind Traps - cognitive distortions that generate and perpetuate self-created stress, including "What Ifs" "Mind Reading" "Exaggerating Negative Details and Discounting the Positive" and "Toxic Perfectionism." The inner voice of such stress-inducing thoughts is often called our Inner Critic or our Inner Opponent – yet we all have the ability to say "no thanks" to that voice of our old habits when it tries to sabotage our health, our relationships, or finances, or our careers; we just need to a) learn how to do it, and b) continue doing it.
The formula I've taught for years to help students to establish and secure new behavioral habits is Consistent Practice + Repetition Over Time. Expecting that attending one workshop or reading one self-help book will create lasting "instant enlightenment" is the ego's folly. Being told you should be able to "manifest" whatever you want because you "deserve" it creates an entitled, instant gratification attitude that always wants and expects a "quick fix" - but anything of value must be earned to be owned.
Becoming consciously aware of the types of thoughts we have, and the subsequent effects of our unconscious thinking processes also helps us to upgrade what I call our "Internal Operating System" and create new behavioral patterns and habits of response before our old, bug-ridden status quo programs can snare us and have a negative ripple-effect impact upon ourselves, and the people in both our personal and professional lives. Contributing the required amount of time and energy into upgrading your old programs, while incorporating tools and techniques that have been demonstrated to work effectively by renowned experts in the fields of neuroscience and behavioral economics are major components in successful and sustainable habit transformation.
Let's be honest.
Growth and change can be messy and scary at times, and lots of us dread the honest self-reflection also required to upgrade our bug-ridden and inefficient personal Internal Operating System. We also live in a instant-gratification society, and most would rather take a pill than bravely, kindly and patiently face and triumph over the limiting beliefs, biases and behaviors that keep us from becoming the best version of ourselves we can be. Yet it's not a finite process - and that's a good thing. Imagine how dull life would be if you had nothing more to learn about what's made you you - and knowing you have the human superpower to choose how to respond to whatever comes your way fosters continual innerevolution no matter where your life's journey takes you. Approaching personal growth and change work with curiosity, interest and a healthy sense of humor is what will make you an "Indiana Jones" of your own inner archeological dig. Learn how to avoid the metaphorical snakes, toss out the old junk, and polish the hidden gems within yourself.
The Integrity Habit™ will be an on-going project that begins with this complimentary "course"- a Self-Reflective and Honest Self-Assessment of what has brought you to this moment - and consider who you want to be, and how you want to consciously live your life and create your legacy going forward. The Ending of one calendar year and the Beginning of a new one is a natural time to ride the waves of change and renewal each year brings - but again, you have to give an investment of your time and energy to make any self-help book, workshop, course or training work for you. Not giving anything 100% of your energy - and instead just putting in a mediocre effort - will give you exactly what you put into it: partial, mediocre, results - and all the responsibility for why it "didn't work" (aka "lame excuses").